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greygloss

Offline (the 07/15/2014 at 9:01am) | Search for a member

greygloss

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  • Number of visits : 1450
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>mattymuffins</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 3:46am<b>ashleyylove3</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:22am<b>olpally</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:22pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:44am

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greygloss's favorite FMLs

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42248) - you deserved it (3925)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46053) - you deserved it (14190)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44251) - you deserved it (7054)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49341) - you deserved it (4644)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44630) - you deserved it (8989)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54382) - you deserved it (11210)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48015) - you deserved it (4337)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41301) - you deserved it (6656)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML

#21198697
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36997) - you deserved it (3306)

On 07/04/2014 at 5:30pm - misc - by fleatitting fame (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML

#21198655
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31737) - you deserved it (6425)

On 07/04/2014 at 4:29pm - money - by The Rock's arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42983) - you deserved it (2975)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

#21198479
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25184) - you deserved it (38435)

On 07/04/2014 at 1:35pm - misc - by Oops - United States

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39919) - you deserved it (16645)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

#21197391
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42959) - you deserved it (7845)

On 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by blood buddies - United States (Massachusetts)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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