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greygloss

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greygloss

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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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greygloss's favorite FMLs

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35793) - you deserved it (2188)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML

#21292702
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (2692)

On 11/05/2014 at 1:49pm - love - by aspiemeanswell (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I overheard my dad telling his friends that the only way I'll ever sleep with a woman is with the help of Rohypnol. FML

#21292660
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25737) - you deserved it (2411)

On 11/05/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by chlorobitch551 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I burned my hand while making breakfast. As I staggered around the kitchen in agony, looking for some burn cream, my cat figured he'd latch onto said hand and drag his claws through the burn. FML

Today, my boyfriend came home from college for the first time in weeks just to visit me. I was so excited that I spent two hours getting ready. Turns out he was only coming back to dump me. Now I'm single and out of foundation. FML

#21292231
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36932) - you deserved it (3905)

On 11/04/2014 at 8:16pm - love - by single pringle - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML

#21292082
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29938) - you deserved it (5574)

On 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm - kids - by The Selfie Parent - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41795) - you deserved it (6450)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

#21291715
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (2912)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a pedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML

#21291439
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32397) - you deserved it (4780)

On 11/03/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by Not A Pervert - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML

#21291418
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31251) - you deserved it (4373)

On 11/03/2014 at 6:32pm - misc - by Isa_Marie0113 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33471) - you deserved it (4895)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML

#21290736
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32881) - you deserved it (6362)

On 11/02/2014 at 7:11pm - money - by ethawesome1125 - United States (Texas)

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32283) - you deserved it (2882)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34730) - you deserved it (3875)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML

#21290447
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30804) - you deserved it (9222)

On 11/02/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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