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greygloss

Offline (the 11/30/2014 at 4:49am) | Search for a member

greygloss

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  • Number of visits : 3101
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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greygloss's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36394) - you deserved it (2407)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out it is possible to get whiplash and a concussion from a tickle fight you have with your boyfriend. FML

#21292929
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27012) - you deserved it (3539)

On 11/05/2014 at 7:48pm - health - by cjhgvb - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28867) - you deserved it (3323)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36325) - you deserved it (2413)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML

#21292702
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30125) - you deserved it (2695)

On 11/05/2014 at 1:49pm - love - by aspiemeanswell (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I overheard my dad telling his friends that the only way I'll ever sleep with a woman is with the help of Rohypnol. FML

#21292660
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25789) - you deserved it (2411)

On 11/05/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by chlorobitch551 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I burned my hand while making breakfast. As I staggered around the kitchen in agony, looking for some burn cream, my cat figured he'd latch onto said hand and drag his claws through the burn. FML

Today, my boyfriend came home from college for the first time in weeks just to visit me. I was so excited that I spent two hours getting ready. Turns out he was only coming back to dump me. Now I'm single and out of foundation. FML

#21292231
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37052) - you deserved it (3917)

On 11/04/2014 at 8:16pm - love - by single pringle - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML

#21292082
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30033) - you deserved it (5584)

On 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm - kids - by The Selfie Parent - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42934) - you deserved it (6515)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

#21291715
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29172) - you deserved it (2918)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a pedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML

#21291439
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32451) - you deserved it (4785)

On 11/03/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by Not A Pervert - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34168) - you deserved it (4917)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)



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