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greygloss

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greygloss

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  • Number of visits : 2317
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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greygloss's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom that once I leave school, I want to join the clergy, and how much it meant to me. Her response: "Never knew you wanted to molest kids so much!" FML

#21270314
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (6325)

On 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML

#21270214
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31403) - you deserved it (2617)

On 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm - work - by hopeless (man) - Canada

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

#21270200
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32924) - you deserved it (2434)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my sister and her new husband invited our family and my fiancé over to look at their wedding pictures. Turns out, I caught the bouquet and flashed the world in the process. FML

#21270191
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30919) - you deserved it (3447)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:22pm - misc - by sisterofthebride (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42459) - you deserved it (3626)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the only reason I work 12-hour shifts and close at midnight every Saturday is because my boss doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. FML

Today, it's my birthday. I've spent most of it apologizing to my parents for the "hassle" of "having" to arrange a simple birthday dinner. Sorry I was born, guys. FML

#21269752
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33271) - you deserved it (2663)

On 10/02/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by Sorry (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager tells me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML

#21269405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36661) - you deserved it (4134)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:56am - work - by rejected - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38196) - you deserved it (4727)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

#21268936
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19514) - you deserved it (39881)

On 10/01/2014 at 12:53pm - misc - by ThatNewCarSmell (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

#21268628
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37321) - you deserved it (4539)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm - kids - by Potforapeso (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my Spanish teacher told me that the reason the girl I'm tutoring hasn't contacted me yet is because she emailed the teacher saying she didn't like my name, therefore she didn't want me to be her tutor. FML

#21268609
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32575) - you deserved it (2413)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:05pm - misc - by Hi, I'm Heather - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

#21268536
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37763) - you deserved it (7577)

On 09/30/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML

#21268375
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39353) - you deserved it (2703)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:46pm - health - by Tampax - Spain (Castilla-La Mancha)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43237) - you deserved it (3971)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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