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greygloss

Offline (the 09/24/2014 at 1:06am) | Search for a member

greygloss

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  • Number of visits : 2077
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>mattymuffins</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 3:46am<b>ashleyylove3</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:22am<b>olpally</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:22pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:44am

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greygloss's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

#21079543
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35859) - you deserved it (14997)

On 03/06/2014 at 9:54am - health - by DaggerHole (man) - Australia

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I was excited to see a spider skittering across my bathroom floor, because this one was real and not a hallucination. FML

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65043) - you deserved it (5121)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17253) - you deserved it (54849)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46907) - you deserved it (9234)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML

#21071970
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48348) - you deserved it (4461)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:31am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41739) - you deserved it (7448)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42361) - you deserved it (5941)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44459) - you deserved it (4201)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (3647)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18307) - you deserved it (46674)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (4063)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34951) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML

#21069793
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17474) - you deserved it (35865)

On 02/23/2014 at 9:22pm - health - by owmyfoot - United States (California)



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