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greygloss

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greygloss

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  • Number of visits : 2296
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>mattymuffins</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 3:46am<b>ashleyylove3</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:22am<b>olpally</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:22pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:44am

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greygloss's favorite FMLs

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

#21127339
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39496) - you deserved it (4976)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

#21126821
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (4642)

On 04/30/2014 at 12:20am - work - by KO - United States

Today, after getting home from finals and finishing the semester, I had a very heartfelt reunion with my dog during which he licked me all over the face. About an hour later, my dad told me, "By the way, don't let him lick you, he has hookworms." FML

#21126684
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41434) - you deserved it (4425)

On 04/29/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anon (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

#21126578
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42541) - you deserved it (6662)

On 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm - misc - by gircos (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my coworkers decided to throw me a surprise baby shower. I'm not pregnant. FML

#21126521
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41402) - you deserved it (5003)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:58pm - work - by fat girl - United States (Alaska)

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

#21126504
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54135) - you deserved it (3347)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm - love - by loserman - United States (Texas)

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

#21126339
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42971) - you deserved it (4567)

On 04/29/2014 at 3:13pm - misc - by have it your way - United States (New York)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43577) - you deserved it (4979)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML

#21126318
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43146) - you deserved it (7767)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML

#21125786
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43746) - you deserved it (3403)

On 04/28/2014 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally worked up the guts to add the guy I like on Facebook. To make it less obvious, I added 15 other people as well. Everyone added me back, except him. FML

#21125472
120 comments

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

#21125451
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (4442)

On 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Cat vs. Dog - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42109) - you deserved it (8565)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

#21125215
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41837) - you deserved it (4813)

On 04/28/2014 at 11:38am - love - by salad - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML



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