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greygloss

Offline (the 07/15/2014 at 9:01am) | Search for a member

greygloss

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  • Number of visits : 1378
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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greygloss's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized there is nothing quite like having your mother be too hungover to open presents on Christmas morning. FML

Today, I went to my dad's house for Christmas. Soon enough, my grandma had commented on how much weight I've gained, my aunt asked me why I'm still single, and my dad joined in by reminding me that I still haven't been accepted into college. Only three more days to go. FML

#21004056
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35066) - you deserved it (3207)

On 12/24/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by holiday from hell - United States (New York)

Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML

Today, my boyfriend of five years got me a ring for Christmas. When I opened it, I was speechless and overjoyed. He then said, "It's just a ring. It doesn't mean anything." FML

#21003775
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45460) - you deserved it (5181)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm - love - by Wtfbro (woman) - United States

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

#21003547
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39859) - you deserved it (3566)

On 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39953) - you deserved it (10474)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38306) - you deserved it (5264)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

Today, I found out about my co-workers' new game. Whoever talks to me first loses. FML

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

#21002747
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20889) - you deserved it (43313)

On 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm - work - by dr immature (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

#21002634
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41323) - you deserved it (13061)

On 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm - money - by rainastartree - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML

#21002184
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43342) - you deserved it (3611)

On 12/23/2013 at 5:44am - kids - by rejected (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend got us kicked out of the Apple store for getting into a heated argument with the guy at the Genius Bar about which video game avatar is hotter. FML

#21001750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37996) - you deserved it (4761)

On 12/22/2013 at 8:51pm - love - by Lucie - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

#21001381
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39199) - you deserved it (9298)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49239) - you deserved it (6828)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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