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greygloss

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 8:00pm) | Search for a member

greygloss

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  • Number of visits : 1997
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>mattymuffins</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 3:46am<b>ashleyylove3</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:22am<b>olpally</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:22pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:44am

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greygloss's favorite FMLs

Today, I almost got lucky with a girl from my course. We've been flirting since we met. After removing her top and moving downwards with my tongue, whilst moaning my name she decided to mention she has a boyfriend and that we needed to stop. FML

#21248283
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45122) - you deserved it (4644)

On 08/30/2014 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35467) - you deserved it (8667)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, I got a job. My parents have decided it's now a better idea to take money from my paycheck instead of grounding me. FML

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

#21247953
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41145) - you deserved it (5586)

On 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by SCARRED (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45023) - you deserved it (2770)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

#21247836
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36099) - you deserved it (9393)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35992) - you deserved it (3199)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (3442)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37220) - you deserved it (4995)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

#21247445
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35429) - you deserved it (4679)

On 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm - love - by ch4nny (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37996) - you deserved it (2790)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML

#21246995
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35199) - you deserved it (2704)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:31am - work - by newswithabitofbite (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42668) - you deserved it (4924)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35388) - you deserved it (6385)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

#21246638
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20032) - you deserved it (41339)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm - misc - by Woops (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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