Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

greygloss

Offline (the 05/07/2015 at 7:03am) | Search for a member

greygloss

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7767
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

greygloss's page activity

Visits<b>mattymuffins</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 3:46am<b>ashleyylove3</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:22am<b>olpally</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:22pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:44am

greygloss's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of greygloss's badges

greygloss's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my job, a couple became angry with me because I charged them for an extra ranch they'd ordered, as I'm supposed to. When I explained how it says in the menu how any additional sauces are an extra charge, she said nastily, "That's okay, we'll just take it out of your tip". FML

#21388872
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31438) - you deserved it (2451)

On 04/06/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by hexphoenix (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

#21388711
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32317) - you deserved it (2244)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by therewasnocurtain - United States (Idaho)

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

#21388685
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31026) - you deserved it (9615)

On 04/06/2015 at 3:38pm - love - by rhunter17 -

Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML

#21388006
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30102) - you deserved it (3322)

On 04/05/2015 at 11:38am - misc - by tardspawn (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

#21387594
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32532) - you deserved it (3983)

On 04/04/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by gooddaydude (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

#21387562
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28975) - you deserved it (2933)

On 04/04/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by n - United States

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (2504)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28408) - you deserved it (3662)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

#21387401
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32443) - you deserved it (3052)

On 04/04/2015 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous - India

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

#21387249
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29761) - you deserved it (3309)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm - intimacy - by lameows - United States

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

#21387157
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29180) - you deserved it (2131)

On 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm - misc - by big_bail (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my 5-year-old son how school went today. He sighed and said "Fuck off, dad." I thought kids only became such colossal douchebags in their teens. FML

#21387117
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you deserved it (5487)

On 04/03/2015 at 5:15pm - kids - by no, YOU raised him (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

#21387066
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27133) - you deserved it (2015)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML

#21386851
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28494) - you deserved it (2516)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:08am - misc - by overreacting - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML

#21386448
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27763) - you deserved it (2497)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by King.Dick. (woman) - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: