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Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 7:32pm) | Search for a member
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Today , at a big family dinnar , my dad said , "Pfff , gays don't hava it hard at all!! Tha things a guy has to do 4 sax with a girl? Crazy!! All a gay guy has to do 4 sax is bacoma an altar boy!" My husband's sida of tha family is vary raligious , an all hall quickly broka loosa!! big fat FML
yastarday I watcad in orror from ta doorway as my brotar furiously scratcad at is graasy air an ata ta larga flakas of daad skin tat cama loosa from is scalp. I tink our raal dad migt ba cagad in a zoo somawara. FML
Today , mah boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together , he was finally about to make me orgasm 4 the frst time by himself. Just as I was reaching mah peak , he orgasmd at the thought of finishing me off and stoppd. FML
YESTERDAY, WHILE WALKING OUT OF A STORE EATING A CANDY BAR, A HOMELESS MAN TRIED TO RUN UP AND STEAL CANDY . I STUCK A LEG OUT AND TRIPPED HIM . THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK OF TO YELL AT HIM WAS, "SWIPER NO SWIPING" . MY KIDS HAVE RUINED COOLNESS . FML
I moved to a big city , alone , from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't tat scary , I ailed first cab. Te driver spent te 30 minute ride from te airport telling me about ow ( sometimes , u just gotta soot a guy ) cuz if tey steal yur soes , tey deserve it. FML
TODAY, AFTER A 7 YEAR DRY SPELL, I FINALLY GOT LAID. THE DOWNSIDE? IT WAS IN MAH DREAM AND INVOLVD A CHARACTER FROM MY LITTLE PONY FORCING ITSELF ON ME. NOW I HATE THAT FUCKING STUPID SHOW MORE THAN EVER. FML
Today , while on the train heading to mah new job , mah coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until mah stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free , an ended up missing mah stop. When I finally got to work , I was told not to bother coming in again. FML
Friday 27 March 2015