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greygloss

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greygloss

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  • Number of visits : 2283
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>mattymuffins</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 3:46am<b>ashleyylove3</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:22am<b>olpally</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:22pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:44am

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greygloss's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35089) - you deserved it (5722)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30038) - you deserved it (14929)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32672) - you deserved it (3377)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

#21279192
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31936) - you deserved it (7952)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by not saying it was whores, but... - United States

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33959) - you deserved it (3683)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24933) - you deserved it (49638)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

#21278162
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37984) - you deserved it (4547)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by burritobreasts -

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32381) - you deserved it (4456)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

#21278125
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33438) - you deserved it (3009)

On 10/15/2014 at 12:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

#21277907
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29543) - you deserved it (3127)

On 10/14/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by ForeverAlone - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40459) - you deserved it (2915)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

#21276883
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35449) - you deserved it (4030)

On 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35118) - you deserved it (7053)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31642) - you deserved it (4459)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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