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greygloss

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greygloss

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  • Number of visits : 2310
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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greygloss's favorite FMLs

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

#21282479
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you deserved it (3223)

On 10/21/2014 at 4:13pm - misc - by Airplane crap - United States (Kansas)

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18867) - you deserved it (24809)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32229) - you deserved it (2900)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (9225)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32508) - you deserved it (2575)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33984) - you deserved it (2828)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29098) - you deserved it (3829)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

#21281417
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27184) - you deserved it (2109)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:00pm - animals - by Why Me - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28181) - you deserved it (4538)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (6978)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (4148)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML

#21280817
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31357) - you deserved it (5461)

On 10/19/2014 at 12:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

#21280767
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33194) - you deserved it (2482)

On 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by problems - New Zealand (Auckland)



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