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greygloss

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greygloss

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  • Number of visits : 2268
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>mattymuffins</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 3:46am<b>ashleyylove3</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:22am<b>olpally</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:22pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:44am

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greygloss's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

#21279192
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (7860)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by not saying it was whores, but... - United States

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33610) - you deserved it (3672)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24686) - you deserved it (49173)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

#21278162
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37665) - you deserved it (4513)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by burritobreasts -

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32064) - you deserved it (4425)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

#21278125
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33181) - you deserved it (2994)

On 10/15/2014 at 12:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

#21277907
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29312) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/14/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by ForeverAlone - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40125) - you deserved it (2917)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

#21276883
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35205) - you deserved it (4032)

On 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34834) - you deserved it (7002)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31405) - you deserved it (4432)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

#21276742
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30381) - you deserved it (3150)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:17am - misc - by wtfguys - United States

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33386) - you deserved it (3215)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31183) - you deserved it (3331)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States



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