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greygloss

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greygloss
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  • Number of visits : 365
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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greygloss's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26728) - you deserved it (18871)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

#21112565
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32504) - you deserved it (3880)

On 04/14/2014 at 2:29am - intimacy - by teddyissmall (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML

#21112140
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33819) - you deserved it (3808)

On 04/13/2014 at 6:16pm - misc - by -.- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

#21112056
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33893) - you deserved it (4296)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33552) - you deserved it (3184)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to work at the restaurant instead of going to the prom, which nobody asked me out to. For five hours, I got to shamefully greet and seat people on their way home from the prom, all of whom knew I was too lame to get asked out. FML

#21111507
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38094) - you deserved it (3674)

On 04/12/2014 at 11:01pm - work - by annoyed teen - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

#21111270
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37435) - you deserved it (5551)

On 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm - animals - by princess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

#21111233
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35481) - you deserved it (3475)

On 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm - kids - by BeatByA9yrold (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that the April Fool's Day prank my girlfriend and best friend played on me was not a joke, and that they actually did sleep together. FML

#21111038
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40517) - you deserved it (2906)

On 04/12/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by gullible (man) - United States

Today, my sister is working on her graduation speech. She gives her thanks to one friend for helping support her through school, like, "The sister I never had". FML

#21110843
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32347) - you deserved it (3526)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:22am - misc - by onlychild (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36247) - you deserved it (5024)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37636) - you deserved it (2583)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

#21110568
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40751) - you deserved it (4552)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39770) - you deserved it (2427)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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