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gregoryb

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gregoryb

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  • Number of visits : 54
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gregoryb's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 7:44am

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gregoryb's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54037) - you deserved it (4794)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today, I had an ingrown toenail cut out, and the pain medication I received does not actually help with the pain. Instead, it makes me high, which results in me losing balance and slamming my injured toe into objects and then getting sick from that new pain. FML

#21128289
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41440) - you deserved it (4258)

On 05/01/2014 at 8:23pm - health - by pained (woman) - United States

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

#21127339
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39466) - you deserved it (4975)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36395) - you deserved it (2648)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

#21082250
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49491) - you deserved it (8899)

On 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by fuck russia and fuck georgia too (man) - Azerbaijan

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

#21078133
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37654) - you deserved it (2905)

On 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm - kids - by Drizztreri - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62563) - you deserved it (8500)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52374) - you deserved it (13339)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat pissed all over my work clothes. They weren't even on the floor, she knocked the hanger down just so she could use them as a toilet. FML

#21073377
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35875) - you deserved it (4415)

On 02/27/2014 at 5:42pm - animals - by baxeh - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33870) - you deserved it (11814)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

#20846340
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49666) - you deserved it (5694)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37542) - you deserved it (68154)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML

Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML



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