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greg84

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greg84
  • Town/Country : San Antonio, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 466
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About greg84 : Homo

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Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

#19633207
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7321) - you deserved it (31191)

On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32742) - you deserved it (11619)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

#18684418
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17681) - you deserved it (1660)

On 01/02/2012 at 7:18am - health - by sohungry (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26484) - you deserved it (7949)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8563) - you deserved it (58557) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML

#16820204
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20000) - you deserved it (40434)

On 06/23/2011 at 5:40pm - money - by sadcapri96 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47890) - you deserved it (40068)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1095985) - you deserved it (108843)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213895) - you deserved it (73290)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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