Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

greg84

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

greg84

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 723
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About greg84 : Homo

greg84's page activity

Visits<b>njgohard</b> - yesterday at 12:30pm<b>This_Chica</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:03am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 9:41pm<b>danthehuman</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:31pm<b>dontSayThatshit</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 8:34am<b>Nyleriver</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:19am<b>BowChikaFuckYou</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:15pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:23pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 12:38pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 8:14pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 4:27pm<b>ChalkOutline101</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 8:59am<b>ironfey</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 10:52am<b>xxooamber</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 2:29pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 9:46pm<b>zero_123</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 6:32am<b>jayray313</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 12:44am<b>Kiki242</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 7:35pm

greg84's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of greg84's badges

greg84's favorite FMLs

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40855) - you deserved it (5063)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36622) - you deserved it (13755)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

#21220246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38468) - you deserved it (6617)

On 07/25/2014 at 11:54am - animals - by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37219) - you deserved it (19911)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML

#20876171
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53102) - you deserved it (11571)

On 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by CityBoysNow - United States (Missouri)

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

#20860218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22170) - you deserved it (32059) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/30/2013 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonyme (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76148) - you deserved it (17320)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58017) - you deserved it (3966)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47328) - you deserved it (4879)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14757) - you deserved it (57870)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49473) - you deserved it (24478)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37834) - you deserved it (6049)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32831) - you deserved it (2424)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56503) - you deserved it (3828)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

#20133890
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23150) - you deserved it (1913)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: