greenpixi

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Offline (the 02/05/2015 at 6:46am)

greenpixi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 May 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 388
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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greenpixi's page activity

Visits<b>BanjoCheeseGuy</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 7:22pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 9:54pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 9:11pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:36pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 7:57pm<b>Aeroxx1337</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 3:38am<b>facelick</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:33am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 7:50pm<b>dutchy86</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 6:43pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 6:32pm<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 6:26pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 2:09am<b>silentshadow90</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 6:52am<b>PhilosopyShrink</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:23am<b>FlowerMama</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:35am<b>itsmimi121</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 3:15am<b>rokemay</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:38pm<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 5:44pm

greenpixi's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of greenpixi's badges

greenpixi's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm / Australia / Transportation

Today, while DJing at a jumpin' wedding reception, my speaker system conked out. I hadn't brought any backup equipment, and 500 guests had the unfortunate luxury of dancing to the sounds of a portable CD player someone brought in from their car. FML

by Joey / 03/11/2012 at 1:51am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

by MissArizona / 08/08/2011 at 10:12am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

by yobruh / 05/17/2011 at 12:54am / Kids

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

by H8TR / 08/26/2010 at 9:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

by Chels / 12/04/2009 at 1:27am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

by homersgirl / 09/30/2009 at 4:28am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

by ginny / 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

by fannylovesfelix / 03/10/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML

by holladaddy / 02/23/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous