You know what sucks?...you do
twitter.com/thekingmikeg
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15555) - you totally deserved it (1341)
On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20499) - you totally deserved it (1563)
On 11/13/2009 at 3:26pm - kids - by notateen (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was putting my contacts in when my daughter decided to jump on me from behind to scare me, causing me to poke myself in the eye. I'm now wearing an eye patch due to a scratched cornea while my daughter is singing some song titled "You are a pirate". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16784) - you totally deserved it (1241)
On 11/13/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I thought it would be funny to draw a d*ck on my friend's binder while he was out of the class. While perfecting the drawing I realized the class had gone quiet. Looking up I realised my teacher had been watching me. I had to stand up infront of the class and talk about the drawing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2574) - you totally deserved it (23768)
On 11/12/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by MaiB (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was informed by my boss that he has been stealing quarters out of my change bowl to pay for his bus rides. He makes six times the amount I make. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17880) - you totally deserved it (875)
On 11/12/2009 at 4:40pm - work - by JBK06262009 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2382) - you totally deserved it (25221)
On 11/10/2009 at 12:24am - health - by ID10t (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16700) - you totally deserved it (2658)
On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2513) - you totally deserved it (24401)
On 10/31/2009 at 10:30am - health - by alcoholic (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)
Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15297) - you totally deserved it (6094)
On 10/31/2009 at 7:08am - love - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16450) - you totally deserved it (14128)
On 10/31/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML
I agree, your life sucks (20312) - you totally deserved it (2445)
On 10/25/2009 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21437) - you totally deserved it (1429)
On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I learned that my boyfriend hides valuables in the washing machine under dirty clothes when leaving town for the weekend. I learned this AFTER I'd done a load of laundry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15332) - you totally deserved it (1412)
On 10/11/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by washed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24400) - you totally deserved it (1049)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML
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On 10/06/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by good-samaritan-fail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
