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greeneyesFTWlol

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greeneyesFTWlol

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 August 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1595
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About greeneyesFTWlol : Why did I pick this username ~_~.

greeneyesFTWlol's page activity

Visits<b>Bloink</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 10:29am<b>psiloveyou15</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 9:54pm<b>streetriots</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 4:29pm<b>swifty86</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 10:56pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 10:06pm<b>CLif27</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 4:09pm<b>barnee26</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 12:33pm<b>Monster27</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 10:32am<b>illosing</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 9:21am<b>xxblmpknxx</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 7:20am<b>thewalid</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 8:38pm<b>hilow212</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 6:06pm<b>Plutogone</b> - the 06/12/2010 at 10:38pm<b>fadingaway</b> - the 05/03/2010 at 12:00pm<b>joeinthedark</b> - the 05/03/2010 at 11:58am

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greeneyesFTWlol's favorite FMLs

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

#20712154
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19014) - you deserved it (107191)

On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47289) - you deserved it (4993)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55153) - you deserved it (64261)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

#20711068
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55987) - you deserved it (3536)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:14am - money - by ididntevendrinkthatnight - United States (New York)

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45356) - you deserved it (7947)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76804) - you deserved it (3652)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60893) - you deserved it (7629)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82223) - you deserved it (3498)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my dermatologist why my acne has been getting worse, despite following her directions and spending hundreds of dollars on medicine. She just shrugged and told me they can't actually cure my acne. However, they can prescribe me a bunch of stuff and hope one works. FML

#20700784
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47173) - you deserved it (5050)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:53am - health - by WtfDidIPayYouForThen - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55965) - you deserved it (32929)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

#20682540
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19932) - you deserved it (35973)

On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (4812)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)



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