greeneyedgoalie7

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greeneyedgoalie7

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2047
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About greeneyedgoalie7 : The names Amanda,
Varsity soccer captain, pole vaulter with the school record, class of 2oh12
I\'m a smart ass. Deal with it(:

greeneyedgoalie7's page activity

Visits<b>Zatert</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 2:05am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:12am<b>computer11</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 9:25am<b>kylo_117</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 11:53pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 7:50pm<b>Accurate_Vision</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 6:10pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 9:34am<b>drunkturtle</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 2:48am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 5:16am<b>jth1623</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:06am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:56am<b>wangwong</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:10am<b>Tthug</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:25am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 7:25am<b>hersheykisses511</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 5:16pm<b>TJBMX</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 4:15pm<b>NikhilBajaj</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 5:56am<b>batah</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:49pm

Fucked!<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 1:50am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 9:08pm

greeneyedgoalie7's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

greeneyedgoalie7's favorite FMLs

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

by sbutler / 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

by BackToRehab / 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

by bitchyskier / 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I toured an art museum. Our tour guide had an obvious lisp, so I tried my best not to laugh. When she asked me a question about a sculpture, I accidentally responded "Yeth ma'am". She ended the tour right there. FML

by Sam / 02/09/2011 at 3:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm / France / Animals

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

by me / 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 12:31am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I walked to school in -5 degree weather, snow up to ankles, for an exam. The school had closed and warned all the parents, but mine didn't tell me, because it was "funnier". FML

by stupid / 12/21/2010 at 10:21am / Ireland (Meath) / Miscellaneous