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About greeneyedgoalie7 : The names Amanda,
Varsity soccer captain, pole vaulter with the school record, class of 2oh12
I\'m a smart ass. Deal with it(:
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34884) - you deserved it (3401)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9974) - you deserved it (6578)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7386) - you deserved it (4380)
On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14261) - you deserved it (31944)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)
I agree, your life sucks (28233) - you deserved it (3098)
On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27839) - you deserved it (3481)
On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28549) - you deserved it (5099)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22126) - you deserved it (2269)
On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4611) - you deserved it (40563)
On 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by bitchyskier - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I toured an art museum. Our tour guide had an obvious lisp, so I tried my best not to laugh. When she asked me a question about a sculpture, I accidentally responded "Yeth ma'am". She ended the tour right there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5516) - you deserved it (43305)
On 02/09/2011 at 3:56pm - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4583) - you deserved it (33297)
On 01/22/2011 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19818) - you deserved it (2853) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24965) - you deserved it (5203)
On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (4480)
On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I walked to school in -5 degree weather, snow up to ankles, for an exam. The school had closed and warned all the parents, but mine didn't tell me, because it was "funnier". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (2924)
On 12/21/2010 at 10:21am - misc - by stupid (woman) - Ireland (Meath)
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