Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About greeneyebeauty9 : i'm gabriella. i'm 16 years young. i'm half Hispanic, half Serbian. aries. ♡☆ also, i'm very outgoing. i'm about 4'10, eh maybe a lil shorter at about 100 pounds. i'm a pretty laid back girl.. i love food, cuz well.. you know.. food. this web site entertains me. i have a boyfriend who makes me very happy, so screw off. I may be too young for love, but I can sure as hell like someone if i want. keep your opinions to yourself. if you're going to write me with a flirtatious message, then it's no use because I won't reply. thought I'd let you know now. I'm in an interracial relationship so don't make any racist remarks toward me for the simple fact that I don't tolerate it. I occasionally like to correct grammar. my own grammer isn't the best but I try. this is pretty much all you need to know about me. go on with your day and proceed to have a nice life. OH! I'm also here if you ever just need someone to talk to. I'm all ears.☆ 10/11/12 ♥
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML
Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML
Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML
Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML
Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML
Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML
Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML
Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML
Friday 19 September 2014