[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

greendaygirl999

Search for a member

greendaygirl999
  • Town/Country : San Diego, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 March 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 457
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

greendaygirl999's last visitors

AngelsHaveSexOz_AliceMissGrinchGeikoFreezeohdammit101YouwantwhatnowdyschordialittlexlionlickmyjockWallyTheWombat

greendaygirl999's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

greendaygirl999's favorite FMLs

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (12874) - you deserved it (738)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (22535) - you deserved it (3056)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (18460) - you deserved it (41104)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (16821) - you deserved it (7205)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (2838)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (5184) - you deserved it (39126)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (14924) - you deserved it (2724)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (746)

I agree, your life sucks (81756) - you deserved it (24059)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (114334)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML

#571652 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (64946) - you deserved it (8080)

On 03/24/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by spandex (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

#481631 (523)

I agree, your life sucks (249176) - you deserved it (34312)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)