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greendaygirl999

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greendaygirl999
  • Town/Country : San Diego, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 March 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 555
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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greendaygirl999's favorite FMLs

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36262) - you deserved it (1914)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23980) - you deserved it (3223)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20570) - you deserved it (50289)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18422) - you deserved it (7824)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39719) - you deserved it (3057)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6045) - you deserved it (43617)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16677) - you deserved it (3036)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377
747 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92281) - you deserved it (27508)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103
563 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47065) - you deserved it (129043)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML

#571652
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67947) - you deserved it (8419)

On 03/24/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by spandex (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

#481631
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (314043) - you deserved it (41268)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)



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