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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1199
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About green_eggs_and_h : I'm here to read of other people's catastrophic conundrums and misfortunes, laugh, procrastinate from doing anything productive and receive your angry messages that you have formulated with only the best regards of my well being and have spent wasting your oh-so-valuable time concocting. There is a 93.6% that I will not bother reading your heart-warming remarks, due to the fact that I do not care enough to bother caring. I can't help but be a snarky, sarcastic, little bastard. I'm truly very sorry. And although I hold myself to the standard of somewhat-decent-grammar, I don't believe I possess the obligation to attempt to correct anyone who may hold themselves to lower standards. Therefore without further ado, I'm thrilled to announce I am not a grammar Nazi. Sometimes.

Post script: 93.6% of statistics are made up on the spot!

green_eggs_and_h's page activity

Visits<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 7:03pm<b>izzyrose898</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 12:15am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 7:15pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 9:04pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:05pm<b>krisse876</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 2:17pm<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 6:36pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:59pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 1:37pm<b>turkeylegz</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 7:05pm<b>kiddo42</b> - the 08/06/2011 at 6:47pm<b>perdix</b> - the 07/17/2011 at 10:36pm<b>lixone</b> - the 07/03/2011 at 2:14am<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 06/24/2011 at 1:53pm<b>aimdya</b> - the 06/20/2011 at 12:29am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 06/19/2011 at 10:41pm

green_eggs_and_h's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

green_eggs_and_h's favorite FMLs

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

by ElixirRose / 07/20/2011 at 8:36am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

by hatemylife / 07/19/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

by butimarealbear / 07/13/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

by turtle / 07/12/2011 at 9:26am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

by turtle / 07/12/2011 at 9:26am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

by beardedlady / 07/02/2011 at 2:44am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML

by Rick / 07/01/2011 at 4:31am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

by Eve / 06/24/2011 at 6:45am / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work