About green_eggs_and_h : I'm here to read of other people's catastrophic conundrums and misfortunes, laugh, procrastinate from doing anything productive and receive your angry messages that you have formulated with only the best regards of my well being and have spent wasting your oh-so-valuable time concocting. There is a 93.6% that I will not bother reading your heart-warming remarks, due to the fact that I do not care enough to bother caring. I can't help but be a snarky, sarcastic, little bastard. I'm truly very sorry. And although I hold myself to the standard of somewhat-decent-grammar, I don't believe I possess the obligation to attempt to correct anyone who may hold themselves to lower standards. Therefore without further ado, I'm thrilled to announce I am not a grammar Nazi. Sometimes.
Post script: 93.6% of statistics are made up on the spot!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12158) - you deserved it (31198)
On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35025) - you deserved it (4877)
On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (2428)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25264) - you deserved it (1990)
On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16529) - you deserved it (39260)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28246) - you deserved it (8505)
On 07/12/2011 at 9:26am - misc - by turtle - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28246) - you deserved it (8505)
On 07/12/2011 at 9:26am - misc - by turtle - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37827) - you deserved it (3523)
On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26796) - you deserved it (2304)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27263) - you deserved it (1532)
On 07/01/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by Rick - United States (California)
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32659) - you deserved it (11852)
On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (7733)
On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29470) - you deserved it (3454)
On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
