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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML
I agree, your life sucks (66009) - you deserved it (3913)
On 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by crazystuff23 (man) - United States (California)
Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47097) - you deserved it (32250)
On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39582) - you deserved it (5842)
On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33614) - you deserved it (8837)
On 05/15/2009 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I overheard my dad's friend complaining to my dad that his new baby boy is a ginger. I continued listening, and heard my dad saying, "Yeah, there's nothing worse than having a ginger." I'm his daughter. I'm a ginger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47220) - you deserved it (4622)
On 05/03/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by Deirbhile (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29259) - you deserved it (20223)
On 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by NotAmericanIdol (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50064) - you deserved it (3859)
On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85456) - you deserved it (4360)
On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53079) - you deserved it (12042)
On 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm - kids - by ugly (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (77178) - you deserved it (20170)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (233312) - you deserved it (20085)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84048) - you deserved it (25468)
On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by dfhgblsf (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (170863) - you deserved it (52079)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69698) - you deserved it (4421)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:09am - work - by olalala2382 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55195) - you deserved it (3062)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by androgynous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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