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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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gottabekidding

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gottabekidding
  • Town/Country : LA, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16759
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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gottabekidding's favorite FMLs

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

#5940932 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (24539) - you deserved it (1873)

On 10/22/2009 at 3:41am - misc - by tessykins - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (96367) - you deserved it (3833)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left rib cage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML

#3400206 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (47794) - you deserved it (4493)

On 07/01/2009 at 4:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

#3398607 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (56687) - you deserved it (4802)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201 (402)

I agree, your life sucks (93869) - you deserved it (4307)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my mother if we could test me for OCD, since so many people have suggested to me that I might have it. She smiles at me and says, "No, honey, you're just really really weird." FML

#3246317 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (33068) - you deserved it (4595)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:48pm - health - by sad_panda (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657 (766)

I agree, your life sucks (66979) - you deserved it (13613)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was visiting my friends new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughters. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

#3188725 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (23563) - you deserved it (4716)

On 06/24/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I enlisted for The Navy because my Boy Scout leader encouraged me. He fought in Korea and is a real inspiration. I asked him what motivated him to join The Navy. He said he was drunk and didn't remember joining until he was called up. FML

#3172918 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (27735) - you deserved it (7032)

On 06/24/2009 at 12:37pm - work - by ArmyMan (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

#3171595 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (12651) - you deserved it (70646)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

#3168193 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (54364) - you deserved it (1592)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

#3146320 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (137020) - you deserved it (19612)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML

#3084574 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (38265) - you deserved it (2393)

On 06/21/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was reading a book lying in my bed. I looked outside my window not to see the beautiful weather, but to see my creepy 70 year old neighbor staring at me with giant binaculars, then winks at me. I babysit his grandchildren this weekend, at his house. FML

#2959400 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (31716) - you deserved it (1326)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:56am - misc - by Siehidbkdnd (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my parents for the first time in 11 weeks. They commented on how much weight I lost. I told how due to stress, I hadn't been able to eat anything for the past two weeks and I was basically unintentionally starving myself. They told me to keep it up. FML

#2909959 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (40272) - you deserved it (3475)

On 06/15/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by need2eat - United States (California)