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gothnotemo

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gothnotemo

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  • Number of visits : 4424
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>xkore787</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 8:29pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 4:42pm<b>jpi13</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 9:59pm

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gothnotemo's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

#3503607
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65351) - you deserved it (3693)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

#3503017
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50317) - you deserved it (4532)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

#3502786
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49158) - you deserved it (2669)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:58am - love - by curiousorange (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML

#3502310
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11517) - you deserved it (50031)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:23am - animals - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43199) - you deserved it (2950)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML

#3500030
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48224) - you deserved it (7957)

On 07/05/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by wetboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my eye started hurting with unbelievable pain. I couldn't see out of it and I asked my father if he would take me to the hospital, since it was hurting so bad. He said he had to wait for the pizza he ordered for delivery. I had to call a cab to go to the emergency room because of pizza. FML

#3498415
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42969) - you deserved it (2601)

On 07/05/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML

#3497280
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37479) - you deserved it (3265)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Disgusted (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML

#3494864
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36469) - you deserved it (3775)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:53am - money - by iloveZELOS (woman) - United States

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

#3485353
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11388) - you deserved it (57972)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - animals - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53113) - you deserved it (23659)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML

#3479922
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19058) - you deserved it (38390)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Singed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

#3477913
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47713) - you deserved it (2173)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by hot_mess88 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65199) - you deserved it (12769)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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