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gothnotemo

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gothnotemo
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3718
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gothnotemo's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

#168522
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51106) - you deserved it (3883)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Elis (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My team mates waved and said "Bye POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML

#154058
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73820) - you deserved it (4794)

On 02/27/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by ap84 - United States (California)

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

#123831
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46236) - you deserved it (5172)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15211) - you deserved it (52139)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

#98125
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35929) - you deserved it (8947)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by taperjeangirl - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML

#85022
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37935) - you deserved it (10173)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:27am - work - by muffinmen1022 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

#70656
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43694) - you deserved it (10843)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML

#45766
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8590) - you deserved it (34698)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by gregoyles (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, for the Superbowl halftime show, my mom was blasting the TV, dancing, and singing along to Bruce Springsteen in front of me and my boyfriend. FML

#4751
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12000) - you deserved it (5010)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Embarrassed daughter.. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

#2985
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5878) - you deserved it (25411)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:15am - love - by dieold - United States (Utah)

Today, I gathered the courage to participate in a class discussion. My professor laughed at me. FML

#2972
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22387) - you deserved it (2052)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:03am - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

#1634
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4873) - you deserved it (18933)

On 01/18/2009 at 4:57pm - love - by indian:( - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

#600
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19577) - you deserved it (14868)

On 12/26/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20942) - you deserved it (5603)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I aimed at the little blue thing placed at the bottom of the urinal. I learned the hard way that it splashes off it and makes little blue stains on jumpers. FML

#511
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5577) - you deserved it (13719)

On 12/14/2008 at 6:31am - misc - by Guuu - Sent from mobile version



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