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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1200
  • Number of comments : 126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About goliatron : Sleep enthusiast.
Avid pants-hater.
Proud owner of the world's cutest dog.
Damn good looking.

goliatron's page activity

Visits<b>DMDiaz</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 1:00am<b>2simz</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 3:34am<b>taco_warrior17</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 5:04pm<b>noodlemantra</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 4:26am<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:47pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 2:13am<b>Allnightampm</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:36am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 7:46pm<b>WordBea</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 12:03am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:00am<b>jrose1199</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:53pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 1:37am<b>fillintheblanks</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:43pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:24am<b>katemilli</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:11pm<b>AllisonRose</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:47pm<b>PesoPaso</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:27pm<b>DaRooster333</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:29pm

Fucked!<b>taco_warrior17</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:24pm

goliatron's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of goliatron's badges

goliatron's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

by CreamGravy / 10/06/2013 at 9:54am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

by Laura / 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm / Kids

Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML

by Keaton / 06/15/2010 at 12:58pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

by cold-n-stinky / 01/12/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2009 at 1:56am / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

by JohnMackSquirts / 03/19/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Transportation