Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

goldman

Search for a member

goldman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

goldman's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of goldman's badges

goldman's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML

#18471784
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (12883)

On 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by queenlatifa101bebe (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (4028)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

#16525233
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27910) - you deserved it (5808)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by dwhite032 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17246) - you deserved it (40338)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML

#15205638
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26409) - you deserved it (4504)

On 03/05/2011 at 9:19am - intimacy - by mrssagdiyev (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (16270)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

#4525487
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34309) - you deserved it (16802)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by