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goldhighways

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goldhighways
  • Town/Country : State College, PA, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 December 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 3830
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About goldhighways : Lauren.

goldhighways's last visitors

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goldhighways's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

goldhighways's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38011) - you deserved it (7384)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

#14805791
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27805) - you deserved it (3875)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17538) - you deserved it (62194)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43261) - you deserved it (7642)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, this guy I have a huge crush on came with me to my house to study. I was warmly welcomed by my drunken mother laying naked on the floor. FML

#14779228
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31378) - you deserved it (2423)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by madelynn (woman) - United States

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

#14705471
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6250) - you deserved it (47317)

On 01/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by nmaidkieavg -

Today, I called my boss and said "I have been awake since 3am throwing up." He replied with "Great, see you at 9" and hung up. FML

#14638505
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (2856)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:31pm - work - by gb739 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I called my boss and said "I have been awake since 3am throwing up." He replied with "Great, see you at 9" and hung up. FML

#14638505
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (2856)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:31pm - work - by gb739 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML

#14627865
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23568) - you deserved it (2651)

On 01/18/2011 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

#14614725
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57025) - you deserved it (5879) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28151) - you deserved it (5108) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38060) - you deserved it (25746) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38060) - you deserved it (25746) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12843) - you deserved it (34217) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36558) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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