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goldhighways

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goldhighways
  • Town/Country : State College, PA, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 December 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 3821
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About goldhighways : Lauren.

goldhighways's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

goldhighways's favorite FMLs

Today, I cancelled out of a video chat with my boyfriend to go take a dump. I took my computer with me to look at Facebook. It took three minutes for me to realize I was still on video chat. FML

#43092
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12251) - you deserved it (45921)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by videochat (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

#35996
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39242) - you deserved it (5914)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:42am - animals - by abi_vet_student (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML

#30377
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37402) - you deserved it (4488)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by atterz123 (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the shoe section was. I said, "For you or your son?" He said, "For my daughter." FML

#29521
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10063) - you deserved it (28026)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Mal2222 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML

#24461
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12833) - you deserved it (25060)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42092) - you deserved it (5860)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

#8288
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34035) - you deserved it (7503)

On 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm - love - by banana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML

#6446
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (6646)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by ally (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25299) - you deserved it (4924)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to Target to buy some soap and this 65-70 year old woman next to me was asking a sales associate if they had any bubble bath mix. I suddenly pictured her naked, bathing herself and suddenly my dick just couldn't sit still. It's probably because I haven't had sex in over 22 months. FML

#2281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24400) - you deserved it (9972)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:36am - intimacy - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6024) - you deserved it (22513)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25631) - you deserved it (8377)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

#1374
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (1971)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United Kingdom



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