Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

goldhighways

Search for a member

goldhighways

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 December 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4064
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About goldhighways : Lauren.

goldhighways's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 4:18pm<b>RileyJames83</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 2:03am<b>kalvmpr</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 9:55am<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 1:28pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 12:46pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b>SapphireSympathy</b> - the 05/05/2011 at 5:13pm<b>VouDoo</b> - the 01/13/2011 at 2:46pm<b>IcyJack</b> - the 12/06/2010 at 10:30pm<b>Erissa</b> - the 12/06/2010 at 4:43pm<b>TheB0a</b> - the 09/20/2010 at 12:23pm<b>Lazybastard50</b> - the 09/17/2010 at 12:52pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 09/15/2010 at 9:31pm<b>rallets</b> - the 09/15/2010 at 8:05pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 09/14/2010 at 5:48pm<b>TheShard1994</b> - the 09/12/2010 at 4:59pm<b>JGood09</b> - the 09/11/2010 at 10:43pm<b>toastman67</b> - the 09/11/2010 at 12:08am

goldhighways's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

goldhighways's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML

#15473081
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51486) - you deserved it (3983)

On 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by tannerpaul -

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31519) - you deserved it (5824)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70396) - you deserved it (15293)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47634) - you deserved it (27041)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29890) - you deserved it (51956)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34586) - you deserved it (48562)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

#15401904
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45213) - you deserved it (9568)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107197) - you deserved it (6435) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, I got arrested for shoplifting. I don't know what's worse, that I stole a one dollar bottle of chocolate milk, or that I didn't have the dollar to pay for it. FML

#15304512
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13544) - you deserved it (68745)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:32am - money - by kb10 -

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37469) - you deserved it (23379)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17545) - you deserved it (82955)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17545) - you deserved it (82955)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML

#15147046
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (4593)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

#15141244
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47569) - you deserved it (3785)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML

#15130627
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32441) - you deserved it (3091)

On 02/26/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: