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goldhighways

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goldhighways
  • Town/Country : State College, PA, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 December 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 3828
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About goldhighways : Lauren.

goldhighways's last visitors

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goldhighways's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

goldhighways's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

#16724592
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13639) - you deserved it (50517)

On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

#16722873
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47353) - you deserved it (3174) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/18/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Inconnu - France

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39053) - you deserved it (8791)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

#16534562
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12221) - you deserved it (41553)

On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28092) - you deserved it (6859)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37609) - you deserved it (7868)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML

#16487727
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44629) - you deserved it (7881)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while babysitting I decided to play with a children's puzzle to pass the time. Fifteen minutes in I gave up. The kid then came over and put it together in less than five. There were only ten pieces. FML

#16481636
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9347) - you deserved it (52592)

On 06/03/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

#16480333
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39825) - you deserved it (4311)

On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30779) - you deserved it (2132)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61484) - you deserved it (3348)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61484) - you deserved it (3348)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13233) - you deserved it (20298)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

#16403007
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32477) - you deserved it (9486)

On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53268) - you deserved it (9956)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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