![[fr]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
About goldhighways : Lauren.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5974) - you deserved it (1164)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3859) - you deserved it (6653)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States
Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5633) - you deserved it (498)
On 03/29/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by a - United States
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2035) - you deserved it (7063)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States
Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18247) - you deserved it (4929)
On 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm - misc - by alliez108 - United States
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mom died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12905) - you deserved it (31978) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5308) - you deserved it (8472)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23770) - you deserved it (3893)
On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19449) - you deserved it (6687)
On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29113) - you deserved it (7077)
On 07/22/2011 at 9:38am - intimacy - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom
Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (2153)
On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7809) - you deserved it (53736) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30622) - you deserved it (4023)
On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)
Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire & Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10785) - you deserved it (36942)
On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that’s what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41295) - you deserved it (2358) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
