goldhighways

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goldhighways

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 December 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7043
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About goldhighways : Lauren.

goldhighways's page activity

Visits<b>draftskink</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 12:55pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 7:22pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:11pm<b>acciofrenchhorn</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:42am<b>Aliicat16</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:09pm<b>kateannx</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 7:03pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:40am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 4:18pm<b>RileyJames83</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 2:03am<b>kalvmpr</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 9:55am<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 1:28pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 12:46pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b>SapphireSympathy</b> - the 05/05/2011 at 5:13pm<b>VouDoo</b> - the 01/13/2011 at 2:46pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 10:52pm<b>IcyJack</b> - the 12/06/2010 at 10:30pm<b>Erissa</b> - the 12/06/2010 at 4:43pm

Fucked!<b>NoName011</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:11am

goldhighways's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

goldhighways's favorite FMLs

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

by IndianAngel96 / 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

by ohbiebjetaime / 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm / France / Love

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

by me / 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

by ...... / 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Health

Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML

by a / 03/29/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML

by areyouserious / 02/29/2012 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

by alliez108 / 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

by Username / 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

by quickfingers100 / 07/22/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

by JohnyP / 07/09/2011 at 3:04am / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

by Anonyme / 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm / Love

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

by WasteOMoney / 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy