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goldenturtlez

Offline (the 11/10/2014 at 6:52am) | Search for a member

goldenturtlez

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 288
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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goldenturtlez's page activity

Visits<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:32pm<b>NothernNightmare</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:04am<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 11:39pm<b>Dadothy</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 12:37pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 8:39pm<b>Shleebs</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:01pm<b>pixiebubz</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 10:49am<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 12:46am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 11:44pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 8:26pm<b>hghrider123456</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 6:37pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 6:00pm<b>ninjalovin</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 3:52pm<b>german_boy97</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 1:36pm<b>dawnimus</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 1:28pm<b>snugglesMcGee199</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 12:16am<b>martin8337</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 1:31pm<b>si24erra</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 11:41am

goldenturtlez's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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goldenturtlez's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

#20903132
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45533) - you deserved it (3579)

On 10/01/2013 at 8:32am - love - by hmmm (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42230) - you deserved it (10434)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51497) - you deserved it (6308)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41972) - you deserved it (6161)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

#20874616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38212) - you deserved it (4061)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:51pm - animals - by Are you kidding me? - United States (Kansas)

Today, my 17-year-old son hacked off the legs of his bed with a saw. His explanation? "The bed looks cooler closer to the floor." FML

#20870098
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37938) - you deserved it (4513) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/06/2013 at 7:56am - kids - by Anonyme - France (Basse-Normandie)

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47605) - you deserved it (4770)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, I went to college, where I'm studying for my dream job. Despite getting up at 5am to catch the earliest bus into town, I arrived ten minutes late. My professor knows my circumstances, but is still threatening to kick me off the course if I don't "arrive on time like everyone else." FML

#20869057
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38916) - you deserved it (7394)

On 09/05/2013 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

#20868968
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35543) - you deserved it (5061)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

#20868590
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49250) - you deserved it (2669)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:02am - animals - by GotMyBitchBack - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39612) - you deserved it (2949)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

#20868496
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42531) - you deserved it (3123)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by IGOTIT (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

#20867080
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35936) - you deserved it (6720)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48490) - you deserved it (4918)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

#20835323
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40668) - you deserved it (6127)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by cookiemonster (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)



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