goldensh0wer69

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goldensh0wer69

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 May 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 521
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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goldensh0wer69's page activity

Visits<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 9:10am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 5:59pm<b>DeafGirl124</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 9:11am<b>c4rpi0</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 8:24pm<b>MiloBear</b> - the 11/06/2012 at 12:28pm

goldensh0wer69's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

goldensh0wer69's favorite FMLs

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

by likearacehorse / 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

by Adan / 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

by Sexting Parents / 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2012 at 1:33am / United States / Animals

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

by Uproar / 10/17/2012 at 7:00pm / Iceland / Kids

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

by imafunguy / 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Love

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 10:50am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

by Judy / 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML

by MyEarsHurt / 09/16/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids