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goingnowherefast's FML badges
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goingnowherefast's favorite FMLs
Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML
by lizardface / 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML
by Anonymous / 07/04/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
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- Today, I was minding my own business, when I decided to read in the living room. My father began to… Today, a cockroach fell from my ceiling when I was getting in bed. This was 10PM when it happened.… Today, I missed points on a visual inspection at work. Being the manager, I stayed after close the…