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godofawesomeness

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godofawesomeness

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 May 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 537
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About godofawesomeness : Uhhh...I'm nice! :P

godofawesomeness's page activity

Visits<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 8:45am<b>Notohp</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 5:43pm

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godofawesomeness's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54301) - you deserved it (3203)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46108) - you deserved it (12125)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

#20955463
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34470) - you deserved it (2861)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43257) - you deserved it (3493)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend's ex moved into the apartment beneath us. She's already called the cops on us for a noise complaint twice. We were sleeping. It's going to be a long year. FML

#20955154
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42434) - you deserved it (2424)

On 11/12/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, at the gym, I realized the guy who has been staring at me for the past 3 days is the same guy I promised to text back 5 months ago. FML

#20954898
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21846) - you deserved it (45125)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:18am - love - by awkwardencounters - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39765) - you deserved it (2872)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -

Today, after making several comments about how I didn't exactly look thin, my boyfriend said, "Well, at least we know you'll look good pregnant." FML

#20954137
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41294) - you deserved it (9401)

On 11/11/2013 at 4:41pm - love - by Cheer4Life (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML

#20953907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45782) - you deserved it (4151)

On 11/11/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by LetMeOut - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45634) - you deserved it (6988)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55402) - you deserved it (4063)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

#20953149
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37294) - you deserved it (4871)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41417) - you deserved it (3767)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML



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