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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, it was my first day as an animal control officer. My first dispatch was to collect a dog that had been hit by a car. I had to clean up my dead dog on my first day of a job that barely pays rent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43507) - you deserved it (2617)
On 05/18/2011 at 10:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62901) - you deserved it (4335)
On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -
Today, I was robbed. They took my father's ashes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72677) - you deserved it (3223)
On 04/11/2011 at 3:29pm - misc - by stolen - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6880) - you deserved it (1874)
On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was reading a blog post by a girl that I really like. In the post, it said, "I know I'm not beautiful." I told her that I thought it wasn't true at all. She responded by crying hysterically and asking me why I would say that. It turned out that it actually said, "I know I'm beautiful." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17050) - you deserved it (19355)
On 04/09/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Arran (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)
Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35925) - you deserved it (2985)
On 04/09/2011 at 6:00pm - intimacy - by Jill - United States (New York)
Today, I had to call AAA because not only did I lock my keys in the car, I also locked in my toddlers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10043) - you deserved it (30666)
On 04/09/2011 at 2:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17652) - you deserved it (3639)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45322) - you deserved it (3970)
On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40817) - you deserved it (31818)
On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (3695)
On 02/11/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by allgrowedup - United States (Texas)
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28716) - you deserved it (6373)
On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)
Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (1779)
On 01/07/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by carrottop - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48256) - you deserved it (6457)
On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5443) - you deserved it (51212)
On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)
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