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Offline (the 06/24/2014 at 5:15pm) | Search for a member
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
today I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I askd if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, an stormd off. I just wantd some steak. FML
Today, My Shoes Were Rubbing Against My Heel So Much That One Heel Started To Bleed. Not Having Any Plasters, I Stuffed Some Tissue Down My Shoe. When I Walked Off The Train, A Wad Of Blood-stained Tissue Fell Out The Back Of My Shoe. The Guy Behind Me Didn't Think It Cummed From My Shoe. FML
Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the feature lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, an I can't sleep. mega FML
Today , at mah sister's wedding , I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it , I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of mah hands , screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML
Today, mah friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under mah pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML
Today , I eard ma usband say from outside , "Seriously Dan,at could go wrong?" Tis was followed a few seconds later by a bang an screaming!! Turns out e'd tried to smas is ead troug a wooden plank lyk a martial artist an failed!! He ended up wit splinters an a concussion!! FML
Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus . I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone ranghile he was showering an he slipped onto a box of vegetables . Guessho had to extract the carrot . FML
I WAS AT SEA WORLD AN WAS ABOUT TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THE BIG WALRUS!! I NOTICED MAH PHONE WAS STILL SET TO USE THE FRONT CAMERA, AN I MUTTERED "OOPS, SELFIE MODE." A GUY NEXT TO ME TURNED, LOOKED AT ME, AN SAID "NOT LIKE THERE'S A DIFFERENCE FIR YOU." FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Friday 27 March 2015