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gmc_blossom

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gmc_blossom
  • Town/Country : Michigan, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2087
  • Number of comments : 365
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About gmc_blossom : Jesse: It's all about accepting who you really are. I accept who I am.

Walt: And who are you?

Jesse: I'm the bad guy.

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gmc_blossom's favorite FMLs

Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML

#17400006
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24033) - you deserved it (5764)

On 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Wife - United States

Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML

#17393465
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30459) - you deserved it (4388)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by cargaljen - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12903) - you deserved it (54436)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

#17362990
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (10506)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

#17361145
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9757) - you deserved it (22861)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10485) - you deserved it (62431)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

#17329330
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29021) - you deserved it (15023)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:32am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

#17326829
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24794) - you deserved it (4823)

On 08/01/2011 at 12:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML

#17324458
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you deserved it (13555)

On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow truck. I drive a tow truck. FML

#17259665
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14806) - you deserved it (25195)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:03pm - misc - by j - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML

#17221687
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26576) - you deserved it (4071)

On 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm - intimacy - by jab43 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML

#17217334
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30030) - you deserved it (4530)

On 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Roode (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

#17211099
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34713) - you deserved it (3601)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by oliverP123 - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

#17193667
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25857) - you deserved it (2062)

On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

#17190246
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34937) - you deserved it (10176)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)



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