About gmc_blossom : Hello.
I shall be Mrs. Levine one day.
Probably not, but everyone has crazy fantasies, right?
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21415) - you deserved it (3871)
On 08/22/2011 at 10:57am - animals - by rearwindow - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11258) - you deserved it (22986)
Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32757) - you deserved it (2931)
On 08/15/2011 at 10:45am - love - by single lady - United States (California)
Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22882) - you deserved it (2818)
On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47750) - you deserved it (4092)
On 08/09/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by ksmith - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26131) - you deserved it (3595)
On 08/08/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Jilly (woman) - Australia
Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19704) - you deserved it (4477)
On 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Wife - United States
Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (3337)
On 08/07/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by cargaljen - United States (Missouri)
Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10882) - you deserved it (41722)
On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26754) - you deserved it (8286)
On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)
Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8367) - you deserved it (16226)
On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9513) - you deserved it (49779)
On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24977) - you deserved it (11128)
On 08/01/2011 at 4:32am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22530) - you deserved it (3885)
On 08/01/2011 at 12:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27795) - you deserved it (12494)
On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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