Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

gmc_blossom

Search for a member

gmc_blossom
  • Town/Country : Michigan, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2087
  • Number of comments : 365
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About gmc_blossom : Jesse: It's all about accepting who you really are. I accept who I am.

Walt: And who are you?

Jesse: I'm the bad guy.

gmc_blossom's last visitors

ThatOneGuy719MisterCrossbuonotomatoadubzdoesitSemperfi92340swick25Bulldozer36SaulGoodman

gmc_blossom's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of gmc_blossom's badges

gmc_blossom's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

#19956706
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28023) - you deserved it (2837)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)

Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML

#19954177
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17670) - you deserved it (5570)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:41am - work - by butterball (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

#19949789
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (8329)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

#19949789
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (8329)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10282) - you deserved it (37373)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML

#19948524
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23588) - you deserved it (2776)

On 07/17/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by theuglyfriend (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's mother introduced me as his "friend". We've been together for 10 years. FML

#19947212
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (2463)

On 07/16/2012 at 8:58pm - love - by lurna301 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15004) - you deserved it (24147)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38274) - you deserved it (1747)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

#19593515
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11839) - you deserved it (32165)

On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10141) - you deserved it (25806)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16465) - you deserved it (28438)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24247) - you deserved it (7904)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

#18859925
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12660) - you deserved it (24586)

On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27201) - you deserved it (1941)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: