About gmc_blossom : Hey, I'm Grace.
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gmc_blossom's favorite FMLs
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
by WaxOnWaxOff / 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by yonanon / 08/31/2012 at 8:02am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML
by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States / Love
Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation
by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML
by Kat / 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 4:52am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by S. / 08/26/2012 at 12:20pm / Estonia / Miscellaneous
by AmyLeigh / 08/26/2012 at 12:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the drive-in theater, planning to have some fun during the movie. We were pretty excited that no cars were parked near us. As soon as the movie started, a bus full of little kids pulled up next to us. FML
by bummerdood / 08/26/2012 at 12:15am / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
by *facefloor* / 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by Luna / 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (New York) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on.… Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted… Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all…
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…