Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member
About gmc_blossom : My name is Grace.
I am 19 years old.
I work at Walmart in the apparel department.
Although, you'll probably find me on register if you were to stop by because my Walmart doesn't have enough cashiers, I guess.
I love the following things(not necessarily in order of what I love the most):
-The Black Eyed Peas
-How I Met Your Mother
-Malcolm in the Middle
A few facts about me:
1. I'm hella lame
2. I believe in equal rights
3. I'm pansexual
4. I'm agnostic
5. I'm 5'1
6. My boyfriend is 6'2
7. Rihanna and Adam Levine are the sexiest people alive, in my opinion
8. That's it I guess
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML
Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML
Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the drive-in theater, planning to have some fun during the movie. We were pretty excited that no cars were parked near us. As soon as the movie started, a bus full of little kids pulled up next to us. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Friday 17 October 2014