About gmc_blossom : Hey, I'm Grace.
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gmc_blossom's favorite FMLs
Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
by John / 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by CaoiiBieber / 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm / Ireland / Health
by Username / 07/17/2011 at 11:21am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML
by sandwichmaker / 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 8:17pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 1:38am / Canada / Love
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek
by SCREWED / 07/15/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Username / 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML
by Breanne / 07/14/2011 at 11:25am / Canada (Manitoba) / Work
by outofajob / 07/08/2011 at 1:10am / United States / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…