About gmc_blossom : Hello.
I shall be Mrs. Levine one day.
Probably not, but everyone has crazy fantasies, right?
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25167) - you deserved it (2664)
On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10932) - you deserved it (18873)
On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (2001)
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37675) - you deserved it (4966)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29154) - you deserved it (1720)
On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16766) - you deserved it (804)
On 11/11/2012 at 11:30pm - misc - by me - United States (Indiana)
Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18226) - you deserved it (1142)
On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15329) - you deserved it (1395)
On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20094) - you deserved it (1344)
On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States
Today, I witnessed my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18043) - you deserved it (1910)
On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.
Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21983) - you deserved it (2043)
On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - love - by markderanjer (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)
Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17374) - you deserved it (3479)
On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16456) - you deserved it (938)
On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18300) - you deserved it (2452)
On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21283) - you deserved it (1791)
On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Friday 24 May 2013
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