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glowbaby
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 298
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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glowbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

#21107057
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38109) - you deserved it (4417)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by AlonsoKold - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

#21100696
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31728) - you deserved it (3850)

On 03/31/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39731) - you deserved it (5601)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39713) - you deserved it (20490)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53768) - you deserved it (22272)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45271) - you deserved it (4572)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38742) - you deserved it (9263)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

#21003547
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38003) - you deserved it (3127)

On 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46044) - you deserved it (4519)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42986) - you deserved it (5684)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML

#20994896
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35135) - you deserved it (10052)

On 12/16/2013 at 5:43pm - love - by dana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28836) - you deserved it (13483)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39093) - you deserved it (6684)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52092) - you deserved it (3466)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41442) - you deserved it (3054)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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