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gizmo23

Offline (the 08/30/2015 at 1:58am) | Search for a member

gizmo23

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 492
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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gizmo23's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
916 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65904) - you deserved it (661348)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (186563) - you deserved it (36145)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (226760) - you deserved it (37462)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (253511) - you deserved it (16480)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91887) - you deserved it (4721)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

#168595
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76655) - you deserved it (296696)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
1004 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79691) - you deserved it (449764)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (252826) - you deserved it (86625)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12571) - you deserved it (77378)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version



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