Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

gizmo23

Offline (the 06/27/2015 at 2:08am) | Search for a member

gizmo23

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 469
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

gizmo23's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of gizmo23's badges

gizmo23's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

#20697496
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51024) - you deserved it (3976)

On 05/31/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by whyme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

#20695090
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49278) - you deserved it (4083)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

#20694089
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45656) - you deserved it (9108)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML

#20693929
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58291) - you deserved it (3007)

On 05/29/2013 at 8:39pm - love - by anonymoose - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99126) - you deserved it (6001)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54535) - you deserved it (3050)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59097) - you deserved it (15509)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

#20632607
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40681) - you deserved it (4300)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by good husband - Canada

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

#20632198
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55058) - you deserved it (5221)

On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54303) - you deserved it (2859)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83281) - you deserved it (4355)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML

#20609262
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52521) - you deserved it (6706)

On 04/21/2013 at 1:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

#20609136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50137) - you deserved it (5074)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off their hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe for damages. FML

#20607182
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42797) - you deserved it (5177)

On 04/20/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: