This member hasn't filled in their description.
gizmo23's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
gizmo23's favorite FMLs
by patient_mom / 06/13/2015 at 9:27pm / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 10:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 8:42am / United States (Maryland) / Money
Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals
Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML
by Opheliae / 07/29/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML
by peniswoman / 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Intimacy
Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML
by mile high clubber / 07/14/2013 at 6:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
by mymomplucksbutthair / 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what… Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma.…