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girlrome's favorite FMLs
by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health
by Anonymous / 06/10/2014 at 4:06pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Money
by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML
by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
by fuck you, jack / 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/24/2014 at 10:21am / United States / Transportation
Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML
by crap / 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals
by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy
Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML
by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML
by took it / 02/09/2014 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health
- Today, my economics teacher gives us a lot of photocopies, so I told her that she kills pandas by… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…