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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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girlnamedkris

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girlnamedkris
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1724
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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girlnamedkris's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML

#4810321 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (30729) - you deserved it (14579)

On 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML

#4407265 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (10000) - you deserved it (39771)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by deflated - Ireland

Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML

#4394245 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (55326) - you deserved it (1994)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by ouch (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

#4330249 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (69510) - you deserved it (14725)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087 (411)

I agree, your life sucks (56420) - you deserved it (11333)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (68694) - you deserved it (4011)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I found out that my new boss at my job is the same guy that I turned down repeatedly last night at the bar. FML

#3820845 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (43158) - you deserved it (2835)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:02am - work - by awkward. (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it started raining unexpectedly. My daughter and I didn't have an umbrella, so my daughter raised one of my big flabby arms and put it over her head to protect her from the rain. It worked. FML

#3712266 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (18842) - you deserved it (29287)

On 07/13/2009 at 7:30am - health - by letsloseweight (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was"Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (71518) - you deserved it (9117)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

#3686221 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (6829) - you deserved it (52116)

On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML

#3681487 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (42503) - you deserved it (1399)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML

#3676766 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (36496) - you deserved it (1823)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:19pm - love - by blind_loser (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (32561) - you deserved it (15636)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (55204) - you deserved it (3434)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML

#3435644 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (45144) - you deserved it (1602)

On 07/02/2009 at 8:18pm - work - by alwaysxgettingxshitxon (man) - United States (North Carolina)