Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12834
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

girandwogpig's page activity

Visits<b>tyza</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 5:26pm<b>dogshorsescats</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Acid1260</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:08pm<b>bheaze</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:22am<b>PengyFML</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:19pm<b>mewtwonow</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 11:33pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:09am<b>CloudKumo</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:31am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:00am<b>ssssoooossss</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:19pm<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 2:10am<b>melons</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 6:42pm<b>RandomHavoc1</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:11pm<b>coolster5000</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 9:03pm<b>antoniasiddall</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 8:22pm<b>MrScarecrow</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 2:52am<b>soccerstar1996</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 2:27pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:38pm

girandwogpig's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

girandwogpig's favorite FMLs

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML


I agree, your life sucks (227517) - you deserved it (13008)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML


I agree, your life sucks (384967) - you deserved it (44259)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the ER for severe pain in my abdominal area. The doctor comes in after looking at the CT scan and says, "Well it's not your appendix." Thinking I'm in the clear I say, "That's Awesome", the doctor then responded with "It's probably your testicles." FML

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (37284)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17645) - you deserved it (48562)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45382) - you deserved it (7988)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by a-non (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8087) - you deserved it (31909)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:15am - love - by dieold - United States (Utah)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38545) - you deserved it (2879)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34591) - you deserved it (8753)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: