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girandwogpig

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girandwogpig
  • Town/Country : Cairo, Egypt
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12436
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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girandwogpig's favorite FMLs

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (191777) - you deserved it (9110)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329025) - you deserved it (35701)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the ER for severe pain in my abdominal area. The doctor comes in after looking at the CT scan and says, "Well it's not your appendix." Thinking I'm in the clear I say, "That's Awesome", the doctor then responded with "It's probably your testicles." FML

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16264) - you deserved it (26795)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

#5925
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14385) - you deserved it (42550)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML

#5320
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38232) - you deserved it (7039)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by a-non (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

#2985
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5878) - you deserved it (25410)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:15am - love - by dieold - United States (Utah)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31998) - you deserved it (2251)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

#997
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (7538)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)



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