Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 12/20/2014 at 3:46am) | Search for a member
About ginger196 : Hey!!! Just a ginger in high school, I'm a freshie, otaku, I love love love My Chemical Romance (see, I even wrote out the name), and don't bring up Superwholock unless you want to get spammed with every quote I know. Just looking to chat, don't have much of a social life. I love netflix, and dabble in writing and drawing. (Im writing a book). And for the love of god, DONT ASK ME FOR MY KIK! I love friendly conversation though
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML
Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML
Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML
Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML
Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML
Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML
Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
Friday 31 July 2015